The (Empty) Chair

It is a hard feeling to describe. At one time we’ve all sat across from the empty chair. There was a happy beautiful person there. Full of life and energy and enthusiasm, and now it is empty. They are not dead – simply no longer in the chair across the table.

 

That chair still holds the memories. Both the many, many Amazing memories and the – not so wonderful memories. As with every person in the chair across the table there are the ups and downs; the glorious moments and the misunderstandings, the Arguments, the Conflict and the Sarcasm. Some friends even called it a Toxic relationship.

Overtime, the latter became more prominent that the former.  Plans made and plans cancelled, misunderstandings that continued over and over. Moving together, moving apart, moving in and moving out, moving closer and moving away. Counseling sessions, couples therapy, and people that continued to ask…”Are you and YYY still together ?”. Friends that took sides, and would only invite one of us, and optionally the other. Communication was more than often – Wrong, misinterpreted, not enough, or silent.

Sarcasm seemed to rule – I was expected to know if they were being serious (‘Don’t you know me yet), or are you being sarcastic ?.

Throw kids into the mix, a week of full time parenting two kids, and now young adults. Trust me, dating with kids isn’t easy.

Separate vacations, separate social events, separate — pretty much everything.   

Years pass.

The Misunderstandings, Conflict, Volatility and Assumptions continued…

We split up and got back together so many times I can’t even remember how many times, though April 2021 was the last. 

Weeks and months of silence. Finger pointing, assumptions and …”you didn’t contact me”

I needed to break the cycle.     

Roll ahead to April 2022 –  That chair will always be empty. Its over.

I broke the cycle.

There is a new person in the chair in front of me.

There is however still plenty of healing to do.